Sound Like a Billion (F to I)
F-F-F
FACILITY
From Bremner: “As a building, informally, a facility is an outhouse. As a building, formally, facility is a flatulent word tacked onto anything from a concerty hall to a prison. Facilities is a handy generic word for a collection of buildings and assembly rooms with different purposes, as in, ‘The university will open all its facilities during homecoming.’ But call a gymnasium a gymnasium, not a recreational facility, and a school a school, not an educational facility.”
FACILITATE
See above. In a sense, one might say Exlax facilitates.
FARTHER/FURTHER
Farther is used literally, with a measurable distance. Alex ran farther than Tommy. Further is used figuratively to denote metaphorical distance: Professor Frederickson took the discussion further.
FEWER THAN/LESS THAN
If the quantity be individually counted, use fewer; otherwise, for metaphorical or imprecise amounts, less than is correct. We’ve received less than an inch of rain. The store had fewer customers than normal. This yogurt contains less than 100 calories. Alexis was less than thrilled. Yes, all the signs in the express lane at the grocery store are wrong. It is 12 or fewer items, dammit.
FINANCE/FUND
Not interchangeable: A purchase made with borrowed money is financed, not funded. The endowment was funded with cash from a wealthy alumna. Grover financed a new SUV. The highway was privately financed. Dad funded my college education.
FIRST ANNUAL
It ain’t an annual event until it’s been done at least once before. First annual is hopeful but wrong unless you mean the first annual in a series of yearly events. If you need to add words to your event description, and I’m not sure that ever helps, the better choice might be inaugural. If that’s too Latin, opt for “first.”
FIRSTLY
First is sufficient.
FIT TO A TEE
See T-shirt.
FLAMMABLE/INFLAMMABLE
Flammable means “easily set on fire.” So does inflammable. The difference is an inflammable substance can burst into flames without ignition. Something inflammable is combustible. Wood is flammable; certain unstable chemical compounds are inflammable.
FLOTSAM and JETSAM
Both elements of this phrase come from maritime law. They are usually seen in tandem though they have separate meanings. Flotsam is the wreckage of a ship or its cargo that has been washed up by the sea. Jetsam is cargo or anything else thrown from the ship that has ashes ashore. Note: Neither flotsam nor jetsam is still in the water.
FOLLOWING/PRIOR TO
Another load of Latin to dump from your writing. Unless you’re filling out a police report, just say after.
FRANKENSTEIN
Was the doctor, not the monster. In the book, the monster is beautiful – more Twilight hottie than Boris Karloff weirdo.
FREE GIFT
If a gift isn’t without cost to the recipient, it is not, by definition, a gift at all. The purpose of this phrase in marketing is to imply and invoke a social contract: I gave you something, now you owe me. Getting something “free” is one of the most powerful tools marketers have: All of us have bought something we didn’t really want just because it came with something “free.” This taps in not only to our desire to fulfill our end of any social contract but also tugs at our human desire not to lose an opportunity, even if said opportunity is of dubious (or zero) value.
“If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.”
-- Elmore Leonard
G-G-G
GET
From The Careful Writer, by Ted Bernstein: The verb get has a multitude of meanings, a great many of them casual or slang. Along with fix, it is one of the handiest, if not always the best adapted, tools of the language. This statement suggests that just as a carpenter would not find the handle of a screwdriver the best implement for driving a nail, so the writer about to use get would do well to see whether he has a more serviceable word in his kit. A few examples will demonstrate the ubiquituousness of the word.
1. “Before the insect season gets underway, homeowners are advised to be armed against the invasion. Among the many booklets available from the Department of Agriculture is one outlining how to get rid of wasps. You can get it free from the Department’s Office of Informatioon.” The phrase gets under way translates with commendable economy into begins. Get rid of is not so readily replaced, although eliminate or wipe out is avaiable; nevertheless it exemplifies the use of get as a colorless copula (or linking) verb, other instances of which would be get tired, get sick, get clear, get started. In the phrase get it free, the word get is merely a weak synonym for obtain.
2. “He got into the union at the age of fifteen and got married five years later.” The first got is perhaps meaningful; it suggests more of an effort than entered or joined. But the second got is a gaucherie. Ambrose Bierce is not to be taken as the last word on words, still he has a point when he says in Write It Right that if got married is correct, we should say also got dead for “died,” one expression is as good as thge other.” There are those who contend that to use was married would make it impossible to distinguish the action from the resulting state, but this is a quibble because in almost all cases, as in the one above, the context makes the meaning clea.r The exceptional instance might be one line the sebntebnse quoted by Curmne, “He is married now, but I can’t tell you when he got married,” or like this one, She has been maried so often you might think she enjoysjust gettign married, not bneing married.” Such exceptions, however, are rare.
3. When he gets talking fast the word start to fall over one another, This is akin to get going or get started. All are casual usages and are not good enough for reputable writing. Remedies would be “When he starts talking fast or starts to talk fast or is talking fast.”
4. “This country has got to meet the challenge of communism.” In the sense of must, compelled or obliged, got is again classed as casual. Still, because of its usefulness, nay, irreplaceablility, for the purpose of strong emphasis, it is more likely than most other casual uses of the word to gain literary acceptance. To see ow it adds force, compare has to meet, must meet and has got to meet. There cannot be much doubt that got in this sense has simply got to win approval.
GIFT
If you are not a tax accountnat, it’s a noun. “To gift” has a specific financial meaning. Otherwise, it’s just poor usage. See SHOP.
GOES
Goes is the present tense of the verb “to go.” That it all, period, amen. It is a crime against humanity worth of a trial before a tribunal at The Hague to use go in any form as a synonym for ““said,” as in this exchange of forehead-slapping vapidity: “So I was all like, ‘No way!’ and then he goes ‘Way!’ and I was like, ‘Dude, seriously.’” Say said. Jesus.
GOOD/WELL
Well is an adverb. It modifies a verb. As a compound modifier, it need not be hyphenated before a noun. Good is an adjective. It modifies a noun. If used as a compound modifier, it is hyphenated, as In Good-Time Charlie. Don’t use well as an adjective and don’t use good as an adverb.
GOURMAND/GOURMET
A person devoted to eating good food may be classified as a gourmand; a gourmet is an expert on food and drink and is competent to pass judgment in matter of taste. New York Times restaurant critic Pete Wells is a gourmet. Gourmands read his reviews.
H-H-H
HANGED
A person strangled to death by a rope is hanged. Hung means “well endowed,” which rather changes things.
HEADQUARTERS
Is singular. 3M’s headquarters is in Minnesota.
HEREIN
It’s clear but it’s stilted – words like herein are perfectly acceptable, but they are no longer the way we talk. Ditto for therein, wherefore, whereas and, for the love of all things holy, hitherto. That said, I’m a fan of insasmuch.
HIS OWN PEOPLE
“Saddam did bad things to his own people.” No. He did terrible things to Iraqis and Kurds. They are their own people. I don’t know where this paternalistic construction comes from, but it’s time to retire it. It’s not as if gassing your neighbors is somehow all right.
HOT-WATER HEATER
Just out of curiosity, why would you need to heat water that’s already hot? Say water heater.
HOWEVER
However is a conjunctive adverb. I know you don’t care about grammatical taxonomy, but I thought I’d throw that out there. As you can deduce from its name, a conjunctive adverb is something that puts two things together, in this case two clauses. That means its proper place is between two things, and that’s the key to remember. So: Don’t start sentences with however.
Caveat: However, sometimes it works fine.
I-I-I
I KNOW, RIGHT?
This conversational response of affirmation or agreement – a verbal nod – has crept into popular culture. It’s meaningless and vapid, two things your writing should not be.
IF/WHETHER
If implies condition: Bob will perform a given task if certain requirements are met. Whether connotes a choice between A and non-A. Avoid the construction whether or not. The “or not” is already built in.
IMPRECISION
If you’d like to take the easiest step toward improving your writing, this is a good place to start, and it’s easy. When you’re finished writing your piece, search for the words some, many, some really, very, numerous and often. When you find them, recast the sentence to be more specific.
“I got some silver,” Judas said. Really? How much? Sometimes you won’t know. When you do, say so. Your readers deserve it. As any good liar will attest, adding detail adds credibility, and in most cases you can communicate vastly more information in just a few more words.
IMPACT
From John Bremner:
“A faddish, all-purpose word that has come to mean all things to all bureaucrats and admen, impact strictly denotes a violent bump or crash. As Barzun says, “If you have to report he impact of a meteroite in yiour backyard, use the word witho histiation, but forgo it in deschineing the effect of a ne3w detergent on the lives of young mothers,” Such verbal abuse he calls metaphoric pidgin.” Impact is frequerntly misused for “effect,” as in “His warnings had no impact on me,” or for what Nickles calls “stylish but useless jabber.” as in “children spoined by (the impact of) permissiveness. (Proper and more truthful usage would be “children spoiled by the lack of occasioonal impact of parental hand on filial bottom.”)
Instead of have an impact, choose a more appropriate verb such as affect, change, decrease, increase, heighten, lessen, persuade, sway. And instead of impact try effect, change, consequnce, result,repercussion, impression, influsenc, significance.
Impacted as in “impacted wisdom tooth,” means “wedged together.”
IN ACTUALITY/IN REALITY
No, lie to us. Tell us what it’s like in fantasyland. What color is the sky on your planet? The purpose of this overused phrase is to imply someone’s baseline assumptions are incorrect. “We have to fix Social Security,” the candidate said. “In actuality,” his opponent responded, “Social Security will be just fine with my tax plan.”
Be leery of this and all introductory clauses you stack on the front of sentences. Often they’re not needed – and often they might find a better home at the end of the sentence.
IN FACT
It damn well better be. Omit this phrase unless you are presenting evidence to contradict an errant assertion. “This is not a ham sandwich, as my learned rival says,” intoned Lord Jacktard. “It is, in fact, peanut butter and jelly.” Okay, so not the best example. But you get the idea. Sometimes this phrase is handy. Most of the time you can ashcan it.
IN TODAY’S SOCIETY
Look, if you want to write about yesterday’s society, go get a doctorate in history. Otherwise, avoid this grandiose introductory phrase, common in bad high school essays and ill-conceived political speechifying. This sort of beginning tends to conclude with a categorical statement or strident generalization, both of which tend to be demonstrably false and thus erode a writer’s credibility. Just make your point already. Leave society to the sociologists.
INCLUDE
Don’t use include to introduce a complete list, only a partial one. The United States includes Kansas, Texas and Colorado is correct. The United States includes [all its states and territories] is incorrect.
INDICES
Pretentious. Indexes is preferred. We don’t say Kleenices for facial tissues or sexices for genders.
INDIVIDUAL
The noun is police jargon. Say person or use a proper name.
INTENSE/INTENSIVE
Emotions or feelings are intense; sustained action is described as intensive.
IN EFFECT
Pedantic. Avoid.
See BASICALLY.
INSTANTLY/INSTANTANEOUSLY
Instantly means “at once” or “immediately.’ Instantaneously describes something happening so soon (in relation to something else) that no delay can be perceived.
IRREGARDLESS
Is not a word. Do not use.